Kick starting (again)

well hello!  it's certainly been a while since I posted.

I've had a tough time getting myself motivated to make the right long term choices.  My exercise is sporadic, my eating has been less than great, and my overall attitude could use a little work.

There are a multitude or real and fake reasons on why that was happening.   I'm not sure I'm going to go into any details - that's in the past and let's let it go!

I have a friend that is a coach for Beach Bodies and she has regularly checked in with me to see if I want to join.   Overall I think its a good program but the key thing I don't like about it is the shake replacement meal.  The shake is on an auto-renewal on your credit card -- I HATE that; it often so hard to cancel those deals.  I'm still fighting that with the old Bally's gym that was taken over by Blasts.   Anyway, the other main issue - it this is really nothing new -- I know what to do, I know what to eat and what not to eat.... but I don't do it.   That is my real problem - I know it but I don't act on it.   Yes, her coaching and being in the group would help my progress.  But is it really worth the cost?   I don't know.   If it didn't have the shake part then I would sign up, if nothing more than to support a friend.   But the shake and its auto-renewal are making me lean towards 'no' once again.  

Instead I did day one of Julian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD today.  I figure I can do my own kick start on fitness.   I realized reading my friend's post on FB that she exercises almost every day to one of her Beach Body DVD programs.   I have enough exercise DVDs, and even some in VHS format,  that I don't really need a new one from Beach Bodies - and the other side of it is I am really so out of shape that I'm not sure I could even do a Beach Bodies program any justice.  Plus our library has 100s of exercise videos that I could borrow for free.  I have less than 20 days to Crazylegs (8K run) - I'm hoping the 'shredding' helps me get going again on the running.

I know I can do the distance.  That is not my issue at all - my main concern is reaching our goal of finishing it within 1 hour.   That's really only about a 12 minute mile - which I can do no problem when I run regularly.  But this last month has been so up and down for running that on those restart days my time can be at a 13+ minute pace.   That's the opposite of motivation and causes me to lose interest.   I hoping the shred helps keep my motivation high.

Yesterday I had a bad eating day - these have lately been hitting me in the post lunch time frame.  It's like my lunch never ends and I end up snacking from lunch till dinner time.  Sometimes I skip dinner because I'm full.  But it's not healthy and needs to be reigned in.  Yesterday I could actually feel my jeans getting tighter in the thighs.   It was the saddest of feelings.

And it may have been my rock bottom.  Today I feel like I need to do something, anything.   30 Day Shred is a good start.  Although it is demotivating to see how much I had to modify the exercises just to keep moving.   But Day One is always the hardest - I know it will get better.  

The nice thing is I already have several events that I hope will help motivate me - Crazylegs on April 26, BLS fun runs start (most Wednesdays starting April 23), Ice Age Half Marathon on May 10, HB Girls weekend in Milwaukee on May 16-18, and the June Arizona hiking trip.

I know this post is all over - but it shows my mindset - I'm all over and have a hard time completing and focusing on one thing at a time.

Wish me luck on this kick start.  I need to find my true north for fitness.