Lent 2015 - working on transforming my world

I'm not sure where this will take me, but the journey always begins with a simple step - so here goes with some simple steps.....

I know I titled this Lent 2015 but these challenges are steps to a bigger change for me.  These may start with Lent and give me a time frame to track things, but this is bigger, much bigger than Lent for me.  Some challenges are more Lent specific than others.  All are steps in the right direction for me.

So here goes!

There are 6 and half weeks in Lent - 40 days if you don't count the Sundays.

1) Participate in 7 Lenten / Spiritual activities.
There are a ton of things that fit into this category - Stations of the Cross, walking a labyrinth, attending the Zion Passion Play, going to confession, etc
I think I can average one a week if I focus and make this a priority.

2) No purchasing of chips 

This is hard for me, and to be clear this is not no eating chips - it's no purchasing chips.  I can eat chips if it comes with a meal or at a party, etc -- but I can't buy them and bring them into my house.

3) Limited candy to the skittles on hand
I split the skittles into 7 containers and I can have one a week through Lent.  No purchasing of new candy - with the exception of some things for St Patrick's day.

4) 9 bags of frozen veggies 

This is a crazy non standard Lent challenge.  But like most Americans I don't eat enough vegetables. I first thought 2 bags per week but 12 bags in 6 weeks sound crazy, especially when it's just me eating them and a bag of peas can easily have 6 to 8 servings.   So I compromised and went with 1 1/2 bags per week - total of 9 over that Lent period.  Still a lot, but the point is to try to add them into more and more of my meals - replace snacks with veggies.  And to be clear, listing these as frozen veggies is just an easy way to count - but fresh veggies will count towards the total.

5) Be good to myself at least 7 times
Similar to the first challenge, I'll try to average one per week.   I tend to be too hard on myself and too cheap on spending on myself.   This is one of those longer term goals about needing to be good to myself and celebrate the small victories and celebrate the now (celebrate the season).  I need to make sure this is not only food treats and special meals, etc - just needs to be something I like to do or want to try.  

• There is at list one that is a food item I want to include - having a shamrock shake.  It's been years (maybe 10 years or more) since I had one.  I hear they are really different and very good.  Its time for me to try one and not worry about the calories - just to enjoy the very infrequent treat.  
• I also want to include a couple of movies - aiming to going to the theater 3 times.  That seams like too much and I'm not sure I can fit it 

5) Training

This is is the big one for changing my lifestyle into the type of person I want to be.  And is so very critical for the June hike with Luann.   I'm not sure how to start this.  I worry if I do too little I won't be prepared, and I worry if I try do too much I'll injury my knees and not be able to do anything.  So I'm taking a leap and committing to 4 times per week - that is 3 times with the Couch to 5K program and then 1 additional activity.  I think that is doable, if I keep focus on it.

So that's the plan - wish me good luck

I'll keep you posted on progress as time flies,

 

Kick starting (again)

well hello!  it's certainly been a while since I posted.

I've had a tough time getting myself motivated to make the right long term choices.  My exercise is sporadic, my eating has been less than great, and my overall attitude could use a little work.

There are a multitude or real and fake reasons on why that was happening.   I'm not sure I'm going to go into any details - that's in the past and let's let it go!

I have a friend that is a coach for Beach Bodies and she has regularly checked in with me to see if I want to join.   Overall I think its a good program but the key thing I don't like about it is the shake replacement meal.  The shake is on an auto-renewal on your credit card -- I HATE that; it often so hard to cancel those deals.  I'm still fighting that with the old Bally's gym that was taken over by Blasts.   Anyway, the other main issue - it this is really nothing new -- I know what to do, I know what to eat and what not to eat.... but I don't do it.   That is my real problem - I know it but I don't act on it.   Yes, her coaching and being in the group would help my progress.  But is it really worth the cost?   I don't know.   If it didn't have the shake part then I would sign up, if nothing more than to support a friend.   But the shake and its auto-renewal are making me lean towards 'no' once again.  

Instead I did day one of Julian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD today.  I figure I can do my own kick start on fitness.   I realized reading my friend's post on FB that she exercises almost every day to one of her Beach Body DVD programs.   I have enough exercise DVDs, and even some in VHS format,  that I don't really need a new one from Beach Bodies - and the other side of it is I am really so out of shape that I'm not sure I could even do a Beach Bodies program any justice.  Plus our library has 100s of exercise videos that I could borrow for free.  I have less than 20 days to Crazylegs (8K run) - I'm hoping the 'shredding' helps me get going again on the running.

I know I can do the distance.  That is not my issue at all - my main concern is reaching our goal of finishing it within 1 hour.   That's really only about a 12 minute mile - which I can do no problem when I run regularly.  But this last month has been so up and down for running that on those restart days my time can be at a 13+ minute pace.   That's the opposite of motivation and causes me to lose interest.   I hoping the shred helps keep my motivation high.

Yesterday I had a bad eating day - these have lately been hitting me in the post lunch time frame.  It's like my lunch never ends and I end up snacking from lunch till dinner time.  Sometimes I skip dinner because I'm full.  But it's not healthy and needs to be reigned in.  Yesterday I could actually feel my jeans getting tighter in the thighs.   It was the saddest of feelings.

And it may have been my rock bottom.  Today I feel like I need to do something, anything.   30 Day Shred is a good start.  Although it is demotivating to see how much I had to modify the exercises just to keep moving.   But Day One is always the hardest - I know it will get better.  

The nice thing is I already have several events that I hope will help motivate me - Crazylegs on April 26, BLS fun runs start (most Wednesdays starting April 23), Ice Age Half Marathon on May 10, HB Girls weekend in Milwaukee on May 16-18, and the June Arizona hiking trip.

I know this post is all over - but it shows my mindset - I'm all over and have a hard time completing and focusing on one thing at a time.

Wish me luck on this kick start.  I need to find my true north for fitness.

2014 - The Year of Use It or (and) Lose It

I wanted a theme for my 2014.  If your a regular reader, you know I considered The Year of Reduction but discarded it because I've used it before (and it really hasn't worked). 

I'm calling this year The Year of Use It or Lose It.   I've posted about needing to reduce the amount of clutter and excess that I have in the house.  And as in most year, I also have goals for weight lost - so the Lose It fits in nicely with that.

I'll post more when I have more time - right now I'm in the thick of organizing the Christmas stuff and making decisions on what I can part with.   But I've made up my mind for my year's theme and wanted to get it out to the world.

The Problem with a Good Heart

I have a huge heart and more I feel more empathy than anyone I've ever met.   That puts me in vulnerable positions where I often get hurt.  The hurt and pain has made me want to close off my heart to my family and friends.  

There are times I want to change this about me - life would be easier if I didn't have so much empathy and feel others pain, especially since I have enough of my own.

The bottom line is I can't change this about me.  If I dig deep, I know I don't actually want to change this about me because it makes me a good friend, a good person, and a good citizen. 

So I have to realize my big heart will keep getting hurt.   But I have to go on and keep loving.

Walking the Labyrinth

There is no right or wrong way to walk a labyrinth, but if possible I prefer to walk it alone outside.  I wish one of our near by state or city parks had a labyrinth.  I think it would be great if St Dom's added one to the prayer garden.  If there was one near by I would go there on a regular basis to help calm and focus me.

Enjoy the symbolism found in walking a labyrinth. It really does mirror life, at times you are very close to the center, but after a few turns, you can find yourself on a path to the outside. The good news is that the center is never really that far away, and there is always a way back to it.


This is a list of labyrinth that are somewhat nearby.

Mount Mary College
2900 North Menomonee River Parkway | Milwaukee, WI 53222-4597


St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Catholic Parish – New Berlin, WI
12700 W. Howard Ave. New Berlin, WI 53151
 Indoor In Sippel Hall, open most Thursday in Lent from 4 - 7:30 pm

Aurora West Allis Medical Center
located at the corner of 89th Street and Lincoln Avenue 
Outdoor Healing Garden with Labyrinth
Best time to walk this is in the summer.

Calvary Church (next to Jesu)
The Labyrinth Open Walk at Calvary Presbyterian Church – The Big Red Church - On Wednesday evenings Calvary Church is open to the public to walk the labyrinth. The labyrinth is a walking meditation, a spiritual tool, that clears the mind, leads to healing, self-knowledge, and peace. Calvary Church is a family of believers focused on welcoming people of all paths as brothers and sisters in Christ.
Occurs weekly: Wednesday (5:30 PM to 7:00 PM)
Contact Phone: 414-271-8782
Calvary Church
835 W, Wisconsin Ave, Milwaukee, WI 53233
Price: Donation

St Mary's Hales Corner (Fairly close to Whitnall Park)
Throughout history, pilgrims have traveled to holy sites to encounter the sacred and to renew their faith. When the Crusades and the plague made pilgrimage to the Holy Land almost impossible, Labyrinths came into use as a pilgrimage-in-place. Pilgrims could engage in the same kind of prayer journey without leaving their native land. Walking the Labyrinth is the equivalent of four city blocks. The path to the center and the path out are one and the same. The Labyrinth is not a maze or a puzzle.
9520 W. Forest Home Avenue, Hales Corners, WI


St. John Neumann Catholic Church
2400 West State Highway 59;  Waukesha, WI  53189-6323
Near the Fox River Park [River Road (County Highway H) and Lawnsdale Road (County Highway I)]

My 'Year of Reduction'?

I normally do an annual review and set goals for the coming year.  I never got around to it at the end of 2012 because of a bad cold that kept me from doing almost anything more than I absolutely had to, plus this introspection is hard for me to do while I have a house full of guest staying with me for the holidays.  So I'm a little late in getting around to it but you'll see more about this in the next few days and weeks.

From one of my favorite bloggers, JD Roth at More Than Money, I found a link to Chris Guillebeau's The Art of Non Conformity and his guide to doing an annual review.  I plan to take some time and follow his approach - its not just setting goals but doing a meaningful plan to accomplish them.  And as he says, people tend to understand what they can accomplish in a year.  Planning can make it happen.

His review consist of a Review of the Prior Year - looking back what worked, what didn't work, and Outlining of Goals and Focus for the New Year, and finally Make Decisions in Support of the Goals and Focus.  My question mark on the post title is because I'm jumping to the Year's Focus already - year of reduction - without having done the other steps.   He warns that it is better to work through the process and see what goals you are excited about before you set your focus and push goals to fit it.

So I'm knowingly jumping the gun, but I'm expecting I'll develop goals for health (with weight loss being a reduction), goals for decluttering (ie, a reduction in stuff), possibly a reduction in mortgage debt (obvious reduction goal).  These are areas that have been on my mind and active in my todo lists so its reasonable to think this will dominate my goals for the year.

The other key goal, that doesn't fit so well into this theme, is working with Zeus.   Things have improved tremendously between us this year, but there is still so much to go.  Let me be up front about this - the problem is more with me than it is with him!  He is a very sweet and well behaved dog.   The problem is he is a dog.   And dogs take time and effort that cats do not.  I don't yet know how to live with a dog and still do the things I want to - for example, today the Ice Age Club was hosting a snowshoe hike through Laphem Peak State Park - something I would love to have joined.  But it was from 11 am to 2pm with socializing / bring your own lunch afterwards - so I would not have been home till about 3pm and then needing to leave almost immediately for a Rose Bowl party.  If I had a cat pet, then no problem.  I could have easily make these times work for me.   With a dog, not so much.  At somepoint in between those I need to feed him and walk him.  And actually getting out of the house this morning was delayed by two walks cause not all the bathroom business got done on the first walk.  It's not overwhelming and certainly other people have much bigger problems (in life and with their own pets) but its inconvenient and I have not yet adjusted my thoughts and actions to take living with a dog into account.   Some of this is my own doing - I haven't trained Zeus to go out by himself and I don't have a fence installed to allow it.  So I envision some goals and major actions on my part to make this better for both Zeus and me.   It needs and deserves some focus - this is the area that is keeping me from being happier.  It brings me down often so need some serious review and planning for 2013 to be better, especially because this has long term impact as I expect Zeus to live another 10 years or so.

Another potential goal that doesn't quite fit into a year of reduction is to blog post more - I'm thinking 50 post this year. Fifty sounds like a lot - last year was only 39 and a good 10 of those were directly related to the New Mexico trip and storing directions and links.   I feel compelled to have a goal like this to help push me to get both more open about sharing things and also to help maintain good writing skills.   I have that vague ideal job of being a movie critic so posting more seams to moving in the right direction.

Guess I will have to go through the process and see where my focus and interest really lay - because while I started with the what's been current on my to do list - with all those reduction items, at first glance I think I'm more focused and excited by these last two goals which don't fit the year of reduction. 

Not proud, but at least I learned something

I'm having a rough day.  I've learned that I cannot have Herr snack products in my house.  Over the last 2 days and probably more accurately the last 24 hours I have gone through 2 bags of flavored cheese curls.  I don't recall ever having Herr's cheese curls before, but I've had this same problem with their potato chips.

Herr's has different flavors - the cheese curls were buffalo and blue cheese, and cheese pizza flavored.  The most recent problem potato chip was ribs flavored.   Prior to that I had some Corn on the Cobb flavored chips.  There is just something about these different flavors that makes me want a 2nd bowl of them.  Or want them at inappropriate times; I don't know why I want a bowl of these after I've had my cereal and am finishing my morning coffee!?!!? It makes no sense.

I'm in the midst of the Light Weigh program and the founder has said that it may come down to temporarily excluding some foods that have control over you until you are able to have control over your food.    So for now (at least) I bid Herr's snack products farewell.  You are officially excluded!!! Someday we may meet again but for now you are bad for my health and especially for my hips.

Fort of Saint Barbara

Just like you should treat your body like a temple, you should treat your house like a fort. LOL

But actually there is some truth to that.  Forts are functional, well structured to weather the outside elements, well stocked and have specific places for every supply.  How does that translate to a family house?  Keep it clean, uncluttered, and well maintained.

Photo taken by BJD in Tuscany, Italy - March 2010 trip

Good Day

It has been a good and productive day today!  I haven't accomplished this much in a single day in a long time. Felt the need to post it just to help me remember it and use it to motivate me on that tougher days.

I also created a few systems and/or checkpoints so that this productivity can continue.  It is always easier to keep something going than to start it from scratch.

Update: I probably should have pointed out that Zeus was at the Doggy Office.  As I thought about why I was so productive a light bulb went off and duh, Zeus was gone for the day - there was no need to keep him entertained, take him on short bathroom walks, etc.    

Reflections

I'm still in that funk that I mentioned in November.  That's a long time to be in a funk.  And if I'm really honest with myself the funk started in March as anger at the world with the unexpected death of my beloved cat Wally.  I still sometimes think about how different and how happy my life would be if Wally had not died.  But it is what it is (even though it sucks) and I have to move forward from this current life as my starting point.

So I look at my life and to help me get started I'm breaking things down to 2 lists - things I like and the type of person I want to me.  Hopefully there will be a great overlap in these lists.  The idea of this exercise is to help me see the path I have to take to get to be the person I want to be.

Things I like - random list in no particular or or importance

• Hiking
• Reading a book - I find I like myself better when I have a good book to read as I'm going to bed - weird but its a reality
• Sunshine /sunlight
• Efficiency - I might be like Dr Spock on Star Trek - part Human-part Vulcan.  Logic is very easy for me and inefficiency and lack of logic are one of my pet peeves
• Maintenance and projects - I'm very handy and I like to fix things
• Schedules - I do much better with having schedules and following them, then when I just 'wing it'
•  

I want to be a person that......

• hikes multiple times a week - can be short hikes at local parks or longer hikes at the state parks
• is fit and can
• easily run a 10 min mile
• complete a 10K (don't expect this to be my 'normal' distance, but I want to be able to do this without requiring herculean efforts on my part)
• reach my hands around my back (flexibility - I've lost this ability - could easily reach when I was doing yoga regularly in Chicago)
• try multiple sports and activities with friends (i.e., not just biking, running, and hiking - but also does canoeing, rafting, zip lining, rope course, etc - I want to be the type of person that is physically able and not scared to try new activities)
• smiles most of the time
• is fashionable in my attire - with my own causal, comfortable, athletic style
• is well prepared for retirement
• is able to live on much less than I make now (job situation is somewhat tentative and its very unlikely I can make as much as I do at IBM at another job)
• leads volunteer groups - I do like being the leader (it helps reduce the inefficiencies that drive me crazy)
• BLS finish area volunteers for Lakefront Marathon
• St Dom's A&E committee
• has friends that go along with me on vacations, hikes, restaurant dinners, etc
• I need to expand my group of friends to have more active friends that want to do more new and different types of activities
• lives in an uncluttered world - I like to have things in their place and a place for everything
• has what I need and not too much else! (right now I have more than I need, I want to use up what I have before purchasing more, and donate or sell what I no longer use/want)
• is a good dog owner.  If Zeus has taught me anything it's that I'm a cat person!  But I have Zeus and I do love him - he is a great puppy - and I expect to have him for the next 10 to 15 years so I need to be a good dog owner.
• I want Zeus to be well behaved - no jumping on people, no barking that is unwarranted (I'm glad to have him bark at the door and unknown sounds, etc but I don't him to bark at people he knows or to bark out on walks, etc)
• I want to love and appreciate Zeus and make sure he knows it.  Some of my biggest relief with Wally's passing was that I knew I loved him, and I knew he loved me, and I knew he knew I loved him - I want the same for Zeus.

I expect I will come back to this post and update it, but I'm satisfied it is a good starting point.  Next step is to work on the How Do I Get There From Here post.   I like I pointed out, I like schedules and if I can put together a plan and schedule for these goals then I have a much better chance of getting there!