Time for Myself Updates

This is very overdue - but it has been an on going focus.  So even if I'm not posting about it I've still been actively making it focus.   So here is the summary for a number of missing months.

August - The big one was Stonehedge.   I've wanted to see this since I was in grade school.  On my trip to London, I made sure we included this.  My niece was abivolent about going but understood I wanted it included.   She was not impress - I was.   Although it is just a bunch of rocks - it rocks!   very cool and I'm glad I went.  This was on my bucket list!
The little one for August was going to Cave of the Mounds.  This is another spot I've wanted to see for a long time.  I'm not sure why - but its been on my Wisconsin bucket list.   After camping at Governor Dodge State Park we made a stop on the way home to see the Cave.  It was not spectacular but I did enjoy it, and I'm glad I went.   I would go again - and make some extra time to explore the trails above ground.  

September - Two little one - but they fit the idea of Time for Myself almost perfectly.   The first was volunteering at Ironman Wisconsin. I used to do more things by myself and this was good to have the day to myself.  I had the opportunity to contact the niece, nephews, and/or sister's family - but I choose not to, and just keep it solo.  Volunteering for this type of stuff makes me happy - I do love the free stuff (shirt, food,

etc) and I love seeing the athletic power of an everyday person completing something as challenging as an Ironman.  The second thing was choosing to skip book club in September and instead go see the Captain Philips for free.  First, I love movies and my frugal side especially loves free movies, and second the book club group had been growing tiresome to me.  The original September host had to cancel and asked me if I could host - I am so glad I choose not to accept hosting.  It would have frustrated me - at a very low level - but it wears away at that threshold of what you can put up with.  And the movie experience was near perfect.   This was a late preview - they had already had many previews in our area - so that meant there were not a lot of people.  At some of these previews its jammed with every seat taken and often times jerks are taking saved seats while people are getting popcorn, etc.  It has happened to me in the past and that is highly frustrating -- anyway there was none of that going on this night.  The movie was great (Oscar buzz) and seeing it in a theater enhanced the experience.  The big screen helps, but also the crowd reaction to key scenes enhances the watching experience.  It was a great choice for me personally to choose the movie over the book club.    

October - Another small Wisconsin/Milwaukee bucket list item - the Whitefish Bay Pumpkin patch!  This was added to my list many, many years ago.  My mother first told me about it.  It used to be one gentleman in Whitefish Bay that carved hundreds and hundreds of pumpkins - they would be on display near the WFB Library and you could drive by.   Now its become a mini fest with food and bands.   The night I went it was cold and I got a hot cider to sip as a walked around.  The band was good.  Overall a night night.  I'm glad I went and will be back.  Next time I'll probably coordinate with friends.




November - this was another month with 2 small time for myself events.   The first was walking through the Milwaukee Holiday Lights after a book club dinner at John Hawks Pub.  It was a nice walk - with good friends - on a crisp, cold night.  The only thing that could have made it better would have been a little snow on the ground.  Many of the lights are cheesy and snow would have improved them.  This had been another item on my Milwaukee bucket list.  And again - nothing major, but something I wanted to do and with this challenge I did it.   The second event was seeing the Catching Fire (Hunger Games 2) movie on my terms.  I saw it early Sunday morning - 9:15 am show -- not sure why that timing

greatly pleased me.  I'm guessing because to many that was 'too early' for a Sunday morning.   I got to see it opening weekend -but did not have to be in a overcrowded theater.   And I really enjoyed the movie - it made me tear up at several points.  I've read the books but its been a while so the movie was fresh.  I now need to reread the books - and have already requested it from the library - should get it before Christmas.

So the overall is - these things are still happening, which is a very good trend.  I need to be good to myself and these little things do make a big difference.  

I have a few things targeted for December - with a little luck you'll actually read about close to when they happen and need to wait a couple of months.

Weirdest Resolution

This is the weirdest resolution I've ever made.  But before I get it to it some background info....

I feel a bit overwhelmed with the volume of stuff I own.   I've written about my clutter before, and my attempts to reduce it.  I am conflicted by my frugality and not wanting to get rid of something that is still usable, and also conflicted because I still want to pick up 'good deals' even if I don't need it right now.  I've also written about my Zen side that makes it hard for me to donate my stuff when I'm not sure it will be treated with love and respect.  That's a whole different challenge to deal with. 

So back to the weirdest resolution ...  for the next year I will not purchase soap until Nov 11, 2014.

Weird!

I know - very weird.   But I have so much here and its time to use it up and reduce the stock pile.  I have a deep love for Bath and Body Works scented shower gels.  And my frugal side kicks in when the have a good sale and stock pile too much.  So I'm going to do something about it.  I'm not going to add more - I'm forcing myself to use it up. 

This includes the shower gels, bar soap ( have a ton of that too, especially gift and travel sizes), shampoo (I have a lot of travel size), and hand washing soap.   This does not include laundry soap, dish washing soap.

I can use it up, throw it out, or gift it away; but I can't purchase more until next year's bday or if I run out before that.  I will accept soaps when they are given to me or included with other items. 

I need to get rid of anything that doesn't work for me.  Some soaps try out my skin too much.  But it does me no good to keep them - so if they don't work then git them out of the house - donating, trashing, gifting are all possible options but they can't stay here. 

I am going to make one exception - holiday scented shower gel.  These do add to my enjoyment of the season.   And my frugal side kicks in to say I should purchase these at the super discounted day after Christmas sale.   Otherwise I would be purchasing them at full price around Thanksgiving - and that would bum me out.   So I'll do a check on what I've used up this year (I have more than enough for this year, maybe even enough for 2014) and see how much remains - then make a decision on if I need to purchase more for 2014's Holiday Season, or if it can wait till the 2014 day after Christmas restock.

39 and Holding

I played with my Wii Fit today.  First time in a long time - probably over a year, but I didn't watch the number of days between last workout too closely - I can tell you the it was 300+ days.  The nice thing is I was 13 pounds down from the last time I played it, and my wii fit age is 39 - 9 years younger that I am.  For

being obese that fit age is somewhat surprising.  And it's one of my problems - I am fit. So that makes me think my extra pounds are not that big a deal.  And they really are - I have to get my head around that fact.  I think once I truly come to terms and accept that - then I'll be unstoppable at losing the weight.  But I do continue to struggle with accepting that because I know I am overweight at the same time I know I am more physically fit, stronger, and more capable that many of my thinner friends.

Going back a bit, one of my returning volunteers (at the marathon) had lost 30 pounds since last year's marathon.   She did it by following one of the PX90-Guy's program.  I think it may have been Beach Bodies but I'm not sure which of their programs she used.   She is now working for that company and leading on-line support groups.     She sent me a message offering to give me more details for her next session coming up on November 4th.

I thought about it for a good while, but it seams like its another case of me chasing the next thing.  I know what to do.  I already have enough equipment, DVDs and tapes.  My problem is not knowledge, or equipment, or even time.  My problem is staying committed and following through.

So today for the first time in a long time, I pulled out the wii and ran the wii island - twice! Set a new goal to get me back to 'onederland' in two months (in time for Christmas).  The goal sounds small - only losing a few pounds -- in reality, it's not only losing those 6 pounds but also keeping off any new weight which tends to creep up this time of year with Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas all having treats and over indulgences.

The current plan - do the wii 4 days a week.   I'll rotate between the wii Fit, wii Active, wii Sports, and My Coach.  If things are going well - ie, I'm using it regularly and seeing results, then I'll reward myself with a new game or two.  Not necessarily purchasing new games - instead I'll look to borrow from family or friends, at the library - although my local doesn't carry video games and the library system doesn't allow them to be reserved so I'll have visit one of the others (Muskego, Delafield, and Sussex-Lisbon seam to have the most), or I'll buy from a 2nd hand store (half price books, game stop, etc).

I have found that small changes and commitments lead to bigger changes - it's the spiral affect, do something good and it leads to more good choices.    Wish me luck in making this small change and having it lead to bigger things!

3 Parts to 2 Parts

I'm torn on what to do.  The Indigo Girls are coming to Milwaukee and playing with the Milwaukee Symphony.  Part of me would love to go to that concert.  But another part of me actually really, really dislikes live performances - they change the words, timing, etc and I usually don't like it near as much as I like their recordings.   Weird, I know.  And there is a bonus part of me that wants to be frugal and not go if I'm not sure I'd like the live performance - why waste the money when I could make my own concert of my favorites of theirs from recordings I already own.

I had been planning on going to this concert with a friend - but that friend has been getting worse and worse about following through with commitments.   As the picture says - they've been treating me and others like options - and if something better comes along she changes plans and cancels.   She's done it the last two years for the Marathon.  She's doing it now for this concert.  And so many other events.  It's become too much of a pattern and its causing a few of us to laugh and talk about her behind her back.  I've tried to talk directly to her about this - but she blew me off. 

Part of me wants to go to the concern without her - I hate that her lack of commitment is keeping me from doing something I want to do.   I tried to get someone else to go, but she's not really an Indigo Girls fan and while she would go to support me, she doesn't really want to go and I don't want her to go under those circumstances.  

I could go by myself and I'm mainly ok with that.  In fact there is a part of me that really likes that idea - I used to do more by myself and I think its a good trait and skill to have the confidence to go alone.   But the theater is assigned seats and the web page keeps putting me in the middle of the row - it selects the 'best available' seat.  While that may very well be a better seat but I'd still prefer to seat on an aisle if I'm going alone.   And preferably with the row to myself.

So I'm up to 5 parts of me - part 1 wants to go because I like the Indigo Girls music, part 2 doesn't want to go because I don't like all the changes artist tend do when live,  part 3 doesn't want to spend the money (really an offshoot of part 2);  part 4 wants to go to get back at Nancy, part 5 wants to go because its good to exercise and strengthen those 'confidence when alone' muscles-- I may be Sybil with so many points of view?!?! LOL.

The math says I should go - 3 parts to 2 parts.   I'll keep you posted on whatever I end up doing.  

Struggling ....Again

Yes, I'm struggling again.   Overwhelmed the amount of things I want to get done and it feels like my ability (to get them done) is shrinking.  Things are taking longer to get done; but even more significantly they are getting harder and harder for me to even start --- that's a mental problem, not a physical problem.  But in any case it puts me on a downward spiral.

I'm starting to dig myself out - which is why I'm able to post here; even just a few days ago I was too overwhelmed to even post.   I feel like I've turned a corner.  And I really need to focus on the little victories I have in getting things done and not focus on the long road ahead of me.

I have much to say, but again am too busy to take the time to sit down and write.

Time for me to focus on Sharpening the Saw

The Problem with a Good Heart

I have a huge heart and more I feel more empathy than anyone I've ever met.   That puts me in vulnerable positions where I often get hurt.  The hurt and pain has made me want to close off my heart to my family and friends.  

There are times I want to change this about me - life would be easier if I didn't have so much empathy and feel others pain, especially since I have enough of my own.

The bottom line is I can't change this about me.  If I dig deep, I know I don't actually want to change this about me because it makes me a good friend, a good person, and a good citizen. 

So I have to realize my big heart will keep getting hurt.   But I have to go on and keep loving.

July's Time For Myself - SWAP and Madison day

July's Time for Myself was an enjoyable day in Madison doing several things that had been on my minor bucket list.

I got up early and was in Madison/Verona before 8 am for my first stop.  I'm not sure why but I do love getting up very early and on the road.  I definitely a morning person, but think I like it because it's something not everyone is good at - and I am good at that so it feeds my competitive spirit.  A little weird - but that's me.

First stop was the University of Wisconsin's SWAP.   SWAP stands for surplus with a purpose.   SWAP sells off the items (often tables, chairs, desks, etc) from UW departments that no longer need or will use these items.   This helps keep those items from going into a landfill.   It's mainly open to other UW departments but has public hours on the 2nd Saturday of the month.  A couple times a year SWAP has specialty sales - this weekend was the UW Athletic surplus sales - they were selling off jerseys uniforms, and warm up clothes.   I purchased a vest from the Rowing team (I expect to use this for cold mornings taking the dog out), a softball jersey, and a soccer uniform shirt.   Nothing I needed, but still fun to have a greater connection to Wisconsin.   The Rowing vest is a bit tight.  One of the things about the sale is they are in off sizes - the 'main' size for that sport is taken by the student athletes and this sale is for the stuff no student selected.  The vest still fits well enough for the intended purpose (which is under a jacket and not seen publicly), and it will be a good weight loss target and reminder for me.

The next stop was the Farmers Market at the Capital- although it turned out to be Art on the Square and most of the fruit and vegetable sellers were absent.  It didn't make much of a difference to me since because of my upcoming trips I would not have wanted to purchase much.


I think it was only last year that I got reminded of the very nice observation deck at the Capital, and now no trip to the Capital square is complete without a lap or two on the deck.   Funny, I had a hard time figuring out streets and directions - I ended up pulling out my iphone maps to double check what was what.

My morning at SWAP was planned, but the rest of the day was unplanned and open for any adventure.   Memorial Union called me - as it calls out to so many alumni.  The Union is under construction and bit of a mess but the terrace is still the perfect place to sit out at the lake.  

From the Union I headed out on another of minor bucket list items - Picnic Point!  Surprisingly I never went there as a student or in any of my many trips to Madison.  It's just over 3.5 miles from the Union to Picnic Point.   I had on my sandals, which are comfortable but not the best for walking that far (and back) on crushed gravel.  No major problems, just wished for running shoes and socks a few times as I had to take off the sandals and shake out a trapped piece of gravel.

Even if I had been at Picnic Point as a student it still would have been new to me - it has gone through a major upgrade the last year.  They now have 5 or 6 fire pit areas, some more rustic than others.  The one at the point is very nice and large.   And as a bonus, they have stations of cut firewood ready for the burning; what a nice touch.  Surprising I did not see any picnic tables or places where you could easily seat and eat - a few benches but that's about it.  Maybe that part of the upgrade is still to come.  Overall I'm glad I went, and would like to go another time with a group and have a fire there.  I think that would be fun. There are more trails and woods to explore around the picnic point peninsula - but it didn't feel safe to hike them alone so I skipped them, but it would be nice to discover them in the Fall - beautiful colors and cool weather.

 My last stop was at the Olbrich Botanical Gardens.  This was my second time there; I had gone in winter to see their Christmas Train display and walked through the outdoor gardens - not too much to see in Winter but I could tell it would be nice to see it in full bloom.  It was nice, but a big hot and humid and the pedometer was already at over 10 miles for the day.  And as a bonus the outside gardens are free.  There is a small charge for the conservatory but I skipped that this time.   

All and all it was a good "Day for Myself".  I got to do several things new to me that I had wanted to try (SWAP and Picnic Point), and several things I enjoys about Madison (Memorial Union, Capital Observation Deck, Olbrich).  It was a good exercise day for me - by the end of the day I had walked over 10 miles. 

These days for myself are working to help rejuvenate me.  Without this challenge, I would have gone to SWAP and then rushed home and started working on household tasks - and would have felt tired and overextended.  Well, I felt tired but that was because it was a good physical tireness coming from lots of walking, and while I still have a larger and ever growing to-do list, I'm less stressed about it.   Overall that was the goal of this challenge - take time to 'sharpen the saw' so you can get more done.